Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
This is the only time in your life where finding a half eaten lime and pair of florescent pink underwear that wasn't yours means that it was a good night
8:30 every morning in the third floor bathroom we fuck in the handicap stall. You have your morning workout and I have mine.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I woke up to my roommate checking my pulse
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
