I'm just looking at Lindsay Lohan's vagina.
Oh yea! I was just doing that too!
trent lit his nipple on fire and said "i am the only highlander"
im shaking like a drug addict and i almost just shat my pants when i sneezed...no more patron for me
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
My boyfriend just asked what time I was coming over. As soon as my old BF unchains me. I think he ran away.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
I'm playing drinking games with a boy who looks like Liam Hemsworth. I think I'm fine.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
My dad told me to bring weed to easter Sunday dinner..
Just letting you know that your little sister is now your eskimo brother. You can send a thank you edible arrangement to Tammy.
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