love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
Guy having heart attack in McDonalds. Classic.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
You drunk invited us to do an intervention for you.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
How big of a disservice to the economy would we be doing if we didn't drink every day holiday break?
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
Randomize
