If no ones going to say it, then I will. Vanessa Hudgens boobs are weird looking
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I need to keep friends like you around just in case hell grades on a curve.
Made a salesman quit his job, a saleswoman cry, and got a manager to half shout "fuck this"....successful drunk Christmas shopping
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
you don't know true fear until you are a convinced that velociraptors are trying to kill you through your roof.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
The low-flow toilet at my office cannot handle the intensity of this hangover.
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
You woke us up at 9:15 am still in your toga from last night saying "welcome to my house party...party". You had already filled up the pong cups with yaager/fireball and ordered a chicken platter... Who even delivered that that early???
I just gargled with NyQuil
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
Randomize
