I admire a woman who can maintain dignity while puking after too much whiskey
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
So you actually don't remember giving head to the Neil Armstrong statue last night?
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
Literally been drinking for 10 hours. Hammered. Roasted chestnuts fell out of my shirt earlier.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
There are so many birds around me. And squirrels. I feel like that chick from Enchanted...but like if she had a dick and made poor life decisions.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
My boobs weigh the same amount as 25 pancakes
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