I wanna passion pit in your ass
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
This is how I ended up being the slutty friend isn't it?
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Well I think it's fate. Considering march is my fave month because it's my birthday and st. Patrick's day. And his name is Patrick. I'm sleeping with him all through march. No question.
Most of the bar is playing trivia I'm playing destroy a relationship in twenty questions
Dude she said she'd let me snort a line off her ass now I just have to wait for them to break up
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
The cat ate a weed mint. This is not a drill
wow bdsm is so cute
I'm not going to tell you how to live your life, which includes naming your schlong
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
We were playing fuck marry kill and he was eavesdropping so I said I would fuck him
It was like catching dick in a barrel
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