I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
a creepy fucking ass man came up and started raven cawwing in my ear... he said it was the raven mating call. i am officially freaked out
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
according to last night, I underestimated the size of my mouth and the possibilities of what can fit into it.
Can't. Busy recovering from the worst pulled muscle of my life that I got either from excessively acrobatic boning or carrying a huge fucking ice luge down the street while wearing 4 inch heels
You realize that if you get murdered while we're talking, I'm gonna have to explain to your next of kin why the last thing on your phone is a picture of my boobs.
Do you think casino weekend will remind us once again that we in fact are not mature enough to be this old?
FUCK YOU VODKA I'M TRYING TO ADULT RIGHT NOW
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
He said my vagina is harder to escape than the Temple of Doom.
And despite my lack of successful relationships I'm a fucking guru
That's like claiming you're a good coach but going 2-12 last season
I'm not too sure what happened last night, but by the looks of it, we must have gotten drunk with zebras.
Randomize
