I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Um don't talk to me about fat. I just used my chip bag to cover up all my candy wrappers in the garbage.
I didnt realize my nipple ring fell out until he coughed it up.
not to mention it took an hour of antique roadshow to calm my dick down
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
Your never gonna wash that desperation outta that sweatshirt you know.
My dog just threw up a condom. Sorry for accusing you of not wearing one, I found it now.
Oh, and she's that dumb bitch that goes out in public in full make up and sweats with uggs. I hope she falls face first in a bowl of queso and drowns
So now I'm lying here in bed taking notes from Teen Mom... I fucked up
He said he didnt want to choke me, I said im sorry thats a deal breaker.
His chest is so hairy i want to pet it with my nipples.
I'm glad you don't care about kids. That's one of your better qualities.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Hold on I'll be right there, I can't find my arm.
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