i knew he was a douchebag when his facebook activities were "ladeis," and "gettin crunk wit ladeis"
only 75% of american men are circumcised...i guess this was bound to happen to me someday.
For future reference, the words 'big' and 'problem' should be used sparingly with a person whom you have recently had copious amounts of unprotected sex
the room spins SO much faster in panama
hey your mom heard me say to her " That right your not going to Shit right for a month"
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
Drove by a cop already pulling someone over and toasted him with my bong
It's 4 in the afternoon........
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
new district manager is here. you need to come in early
5th mimosa says otherwise
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
I'm standing up, for my all my brothers and sisters, and fighting against whiskey dick.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
You were so drunk last night that you fell thru the bathroom door at the bar, ripping it off the hinges in the process. But, your birthday tiara stayed on thru the whole thing. I'd call it a succcessful evening. Happy birthday kiddo!
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