4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
pshh wine cellars. now if he has a tequila cellar whole different story
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
Also, my phone suggested the phrase “puke in the mailbox" how many times have I had the need to text that to people?
Can we just cry and dive into a couch-sized bag of sadness-chips, dip them in a la-z-boy sized jar of depression salsa while watching a show called 'Forget Your Hopes and Dreams, Just Kill Yourself'?
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
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