You just compared our sex life to a seven year old kid.
There's a mirror laying face down next to me. A looooong full body mirror. By the looks of it it fell off the wall last night and was within centimeters of shattering on my head. Awesome.
Think they will judge us if our pre drink is a kiddie pool of jello shots?
Should we pre-order food to the ER for cinco de mayo?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Drinking a pint every 8 mins right now. Power hour aint shit.
Good luck
Trying doe a second hour and I.cant open my eyes
Nothing kills the mood quicker than kneeing him in the face during sex
Are we at that point yet where I can just say "I want you to sit on my face"? If not, want to go out for "drinks"?
We both know we're cheating on one another. But our side pieces aren't as kinky as us...so yeah, we're still together. This is a fucked up relationship.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I know it's New Year's Eve but if you're going to have a bunch of chicks playing strip go fish in our apartment I need a heads up.
Sometimes I feel like my vagina has a photographic memory of his penis. It sucks that he got engaged....
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
Randomize
