"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Her boobs are too amazing to be looking at my dick. I'm even ashamed.
DID YOU JUST COME OUT THROUGH A FACEBOOK COMMENT??
The beers last night were like the tears from god
it was like a congratulatory penis slap
you're trying to get a guy who's been in a coma for 2 weeks and who thought he was in '08 yesterday to drive you to the liquor store?
yeah, you wanna come?
I think my vagina has grown over, not unlike earring holes when not used in a long amount of time.
she tied the funnel to the fucking ceiling...
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
Congrats you've received dick pics from an Olympic silver medalist
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
We smell like vodka and hangover
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