Cut to me doing the walk of shame to work from a hotel.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
about 90% sure I fell off a roof. It hurts BAD. Don't suppose you're still in town?
yup haha I infact DID fall off a roof. Want some bomb ass omlettes?
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I hooked up with Spider-Man on the hood of Santas car. I kept saying that he could shoot his web at me. Also I found Waldo. Overall good night.
What do you expect from her? Do you remember that creepy man she dated who saturated a pillowcase in his musky cologne and mailed it to her and she still slept with him.
Nothing says I love you like a silicone dragon dick
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
He had me sit on his face until I begged him to stop, then held me there 5 minutes longer. I rested my head on his chest, told him I needed time to recover....and slept for 6 hours. By the time I woke, he was already at work. I just sent him a countdown times until his shift is over.
Randomize
