so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
You know your in college when you use the receipt from the liquor store as a bookmark
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
You said you wanted to start a restaurant called 'Barbecue' where everything is barbecued. You sounded really proud of your concept.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
That was the night you tried to convince me you threw up your sould because your throwup was black
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Can I chase this vodka with an onion?
I just feel like if we dated, he'd just be crying the entire relationship
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
