I was being carried out of the bar, but then my friend saw Pat who just got kicked out scaling the wall to sneak back in, so he carried me back in, sat me on the bar stool, and the bartender just let us all keep drinking.
Being persistent has its perks my friend.
We need to rekindle our bromance
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
FYI don't ever, ever get a lap dance from a stripper who says " she's having a bad day " at a bachelor party.
he quoted the bible to break up with me
You were demanding water from a bottle but I didn't have one..so I just took the water bottle from the hamster cage. You're welcome.
After she cried and passed out at four in the morning, I had a very lovely, very drunken conversation with her mother while decorating a cake into the shape of a penis.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Is girls night deemed a success when you piss the bed?
You know it's been a successful day when the only reason you put on a bra was to take off your shirt
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
It was like 10 tiny penises being shoved in my vagina.
Like, what do you do with girlfriends? Buy her dinner and just like leave?
I'm telling you, this vagina is really making the rounds lately...
Randomize
