I ended up taking shots of whiskey and chasing them with potato wedges, I have never felt more Irish
i convinced her i need a blow job every morning to wake up because i have a medical condition.
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
Peeing out the car window on the way home was a nice touch. In December, in Michigan, at 3am. Never seen a girl do that before. Neither had the guy in the minivan next to us.
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
Cheyanne in woods. Ducks attacked. My toe is bleeding. We are gpsing our way home on foot. No worries
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Yeah, so if you ever try to steal it, just know my tongue's been on it in several occasions. All over it.
Randomize
