id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
I asked her if she was the outdoorsy type, she replied "I had sex on a fourwheeler once, does that count?"
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
But how will the next generation learn about life choices without a Jersery Shore?
We work out, have really intense sex, and then eat cereal marketed for children. We have a system, okay?
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Not only did I get the promotion, but last night after sex he took me outside and let me hold it for him while he peed in the snow. I made a heart. This week is going amazing
Yesterday I went home with one shoe, today I go home with three. Fucking win.
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
yeah, last night we handcuffed you and you started crying saying that you weren't a bad person
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