Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
Wanna tell me why vodka seeped out of the memory foam when I climbed into my bed?
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
I remeber being on the roof last night and we put our heads togeather and we touched each others face and said "Hennessyyyy"
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
You gotta buy me dinner first. Or smoke me out. Both are equally chivalrous
Just let me take your liver out and beat it with a meat tenderizer for you..
You were passed out by the toliet and when i said i had to pee you told me to piss in the sink. Never has a girl with alcohol poisoning been so rude.
Guess who just enrolled into online classes at Hogwarts? This gal.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
we need to make pact to not cut each other's hair on coke and whiskey nights.
While I agree, I dont think thats realistically possible
Guess who has two thumbs and broke her boyfriends dick?
I think I fucked the doubts about us out of him
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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