can we please move this conversation out of my vagina?
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
The only way i can get arrested is public drunkenness or defacing a national monument. Trust me, i have already looked it up.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
I'm really having trouble focusing on shark week with this erection
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
also new logic of mine : I fuck a Scottish kid , Scotland national animal is a Unicorn airgo I've come close to fucking a unicorns descendent, mother always said dreams come true
Dude you better come get your girl, she's sitting here eating a tub of pasta salad muttering to herself about gypsies.
In other news, I had my first sex related injury of the school year so that's cool
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
Randomize
