Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
My lunch today consisted of going on the brewery tour with my boss. Free pretzels and two free beers.
I hate you.
To be fair, the beers are only 8 ounces each. So maybe you just kinda dislike me.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
Don't bang him. The amount of Jack Johnson he listens to is embarrassing for even a white person.
I knew it would be a shit show so I just went ahead and took plan b before I even got there. How's that for responsible?
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I just shaved my pubes into a heart shape. if that doesn't scream romantic idk what does
Someone took a shit in the house somewhere and I STILL can't find it. I'm just going to move.
Be quiet or buzz aldrin will come beat you up with science
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You're moving up the public shitting ladder
And now Google thinks I have a hard hat fetish...maybe I do...
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