Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
He literally didn't stop until I lost count of how many times he made me orgasm. It took three hours.
I'm sad your dog died... Her name is my stripper name.
How do you get a black eye playing beer pong??
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
Whatever dude, I don't feel bad about it. If my girlfriend finds out even SHE should give me a high five. That bitch was fine
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
Helped a guy at work today that did nothing but stare at my chest....safe to say the Girls were looking G.O.O.D. today.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
Yea and there’s destruction when we’re together, mostly of our livers but W/e
Randomize
