your address is 607B right?
yeah why?
i need to tell the guy bringing over the flaming bag of dog shit where to put it
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
I never thought I'd say this, but I think I just saw the hottest pregnant chick alive.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Just lectured your brother about using condoms when hooking up with girls he meets online. I should be a fucking life coach
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
We fired a shoe out of a medieval cannon. I know not where we got either one.
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
She forgot a bra so she just used seran wrap. The scary thing is, it worked.
Dick very happy bro
They walked into the house to see me in my neon pink knee high socks trying to pull you out of the cat carrier by your legs...
Also—I just realized that your wedding gift is still on my dining room table. So...as awful as I am for not yet sending it (and I still need your address), at least I didn’t bring my screaming children to potentially the most important day of your life?
Randomize
