So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
How am I supposed to spread my seed with you "modern women" and your birth control?
What are you wearing to our high school reunion?
I don't know, What kind of dress says "I feel sorry for you people?"
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
something had to give and with her weight the coffee table never stood a chance
This theraflu would make for a great margarita.
I can make a sudafedarita
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
And two different second-graders said my make up was pretty. It's left over from last night bc I woke up 5 min before I was supposed to leave.
I'm just hoping that with all the times he's puked in my yard a mushroom field might grow.
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
Randomize
