Remember that sex scene from American Psycho?
Ya, why?
We should try that some time.
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
What should I wear?
Uhhhhh...idk? it's a gay bar
I found something that says "i'm here to party, but not fuck guys."
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
why is there a fishing net hanging from my ceiling fan?
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
My FIANCE just told me he thought you were the prettiest out of all my friends YOU WHORE
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