Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
I feel bad for the person that has to clean the dishes that I peed on last night.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I found out during it when he said "my girlfriend never does this" so he's all to blame, I had no idea until half way through.
I wish the ER had shaved that part of my head. It would be easier to show people my staples at the bar.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Why is there a video on my phone of us trying to snort a line of Reeces Pieces with you chanting "This is how fat girls party"?
I've had to much cheese to give a fuck about anything. im tired.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
The language barrier was annoying .... So we just had sex. That is how you deal with not being able to chat isn't it???
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Randomize
