ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I blacked out in 45 minutes and woke up with a missed call from someone I saved in my phone as the karate kid.
you're dressed like that and you're on the rag, that's false advertisment
Why do I always give away anal sex as birthday presents?
Shut up... one mans birthday cake is another mans sodomy my friend
She woke up laying on my kitchen floor, ketchup bottle as her pillow, in front of my fridge.
We convinced you to take a shot out of the sponge...there were still suds in it.
hotel security told us you walked into the hotel with blood all over your dress, weren't wearing any underwear and were escorted back by three men who were believed to be "homosexuals".
good news: I made it out of bed and into shower. Bad news: I made it back to bed without clothes. Worse news: I don't know this bed.
I'm bringing vagina and cookies. You'll be fine.
I didn't know what happened last night until the bruises in the shape of hands showed up on my boobs. Then it all made sense.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
Then again, he has huge mansions.
*manboobs.
You did a body shot out of her belly button with a bendy straw.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
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