there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
no its okay don't call 911, she's alive. just stopped by her house and banged on her door. she said she turned her phone off because she "had to be alone with her shame and embarassment". typical.
His texts read Like a 15 year olds diary.
I saw a seagull swallow a hot-dog whole today, it reminded me of you.
This morning I learned I traded my sunglasses for a Big Lebowski sticker at the football game.
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
My pubes were yanked out by the root when they got caught in the condom. I think it's time for a bikini wax.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
i feel like when you brought up the possibility of you getting pregnant the sexting is over
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
Randomize
