you dialed the number "23" then talked to it for three minutes
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
i cant remember past the part when we filled his tub with skittles.
the last 2 times weve had drunk sex ive had to get the morning after pill.. he's turning into a real expensive fuck buddy.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
I just ditched my friends to hang out with the chilis restaurant crew...one of these girls better have daddy issues
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
It's not so much that I'm giving her money because I threw up on her floor. It's more like I'm paying her to never ever mention it again.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
I made a bong out of my deodorant today. Did you?
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
Randomize
