Paul doesn't remember going to the bar and slept on someone's porch...doesn't know whose porch...maybe near Howard U.
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
WE WERE REALLY IN A PORNO LAST NIGHT
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
Is there a nice way to say "I like you, but I hate your dick?"
We've only been driving for two hours and I'm already down 3 vicodin...I'm not going to survive this family vacation.
Barack Obama mentioned plan B and suddenly this address seems a lot more personal
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Do I not have a Brazilian bc of my boyfriend situation or do I not have a boyfriend bc of my brazilian situation?
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Whoever was doing lines off my iPad is a dick. Also bring Gatorade, for I hunger
For Who flesh?
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Randomize
