My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
So I've come to the conclusion that I would cry if I had an ugly baby.
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
She is chewing on staples and spitting them at her cat, I think it's time to leave..
At victory brunch. Have a decent story. Im now eskimo brother with the duke mens basketball teams from 2002 to 2008 and obamas right hand man
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I have a broken liver
I see that the whole "let's take a break from drinking" has worked out really well for us.
Why the fuck did I wake up in a chair with mouth clamps?!
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
Does Jesus have blonde highlights? Pretty sure I saw him in a lavender shirt and Sperry's.
He danced with some other girls and you started yelling "I can't believe I wasted half my Chili's gift card on you" at him
I got so high that I ate a protein bar while in the shower. I then proceeded to leave half the protein bar and the wrapper on the ledge in my shower. Haha oh well.
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
so hungover i had to get off the train to puke, rallied and went to work. not sure if that's an adulting win or fail
She thinks I cheated on her 10 years ago in a past life lmao
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