Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
Cruel joke of nature. Hair on head runs from face, and hides on various parts of body. Aging sucks.
Her vagina turned into a vuvuzela. I didn't know it was a possible to have a wet nightmare.
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
He left in the middle of the night, he left his shoes behind and stole my doc martens..size 6 female. Wtf?
There are two women in my bed. I'm gonna have a bowl of noodles so I can better understand my success.
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
We walked 3 miles to the strip club. Stopped for roadies, it wasn't that bad.
Good, I've got all this booze. It's intimidating to be in the room alone with it..
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
Randomize
