idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
he tried to breastfeed my turtle
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
I created another version of Halloween, it's called swalloween, whatever girl in a slutty costume you bring home has to swallow or forever be known as the holiday grinch
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
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