she looks like she scalped a horse for her weave
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Shit. We're going to have to drink until they're cute
Hello cirrhosis
Wow just saw this. Nothing like a little anal sex to ring in 2012.
And now she's hand feeding me pork rines and showing me her angry birds high scores. This is Vegas.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
I fully committed to my astronaut costume, to say the least. blacking out on moonshine and having a moonwalk of shame this morning: happy Halloweekend.
HOW THE FUCK CAN YOU NOT REMEMBER WHIPPING IT OUT AND PUTTING ON THE BAR?
By the way, you're banned for life.
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
you grabbed the breathalyzer at dinner, blew a 0.20 and told the waitress you'd eat her ass
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
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