hes 24 and dating a highschool junior and keeps saying how happy he is. happy about what? her ACT score??
quadriplegic porn is always funny
no. no its not
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
You missed practice last night. You owe at least 8 hours of liver sprints.
We have 10 gallons of home brew. And james has an amazonian blow dart weapon that sticks in bags and the wall. Come over
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
We got security called on us. Apparently the wedding down the street didn't appreciate the trespassing or our loud as fuck rendition of We Are Young.
He gave me one look and told me I'm not allowed to board the plane if I'm still as drunk by departure time.
At 2pm we are having a MANDITORY house meeting about last night. ALL must be in attendance!
I'd like to review the planning and execution of the party to determine how we hosted a naked party, to determine how we can have more.
We need to make boob twerking a thing. I feel like that's why vine was invented
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
