The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
girls just need to accept the fact that i'm going to make out with their boyfriends
after we finished, she said she had been a backup performer for Cirque du Soleil. THAT flexible.
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
Don't let me forget to bring the toilet inside tonight.
So. She dumped me today.
Well, maybe you shouldn't have referred to going down on her as "Dumpster-Diving".
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
do you know how hard it is to bring up the "what do I do if you conk out while we're fucking" conversation while maintaining the dignity of.the narcaleptic girl you just met?
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
How drunk do you think I'll be by the time I get home?
I just watched you drink a whole glass of wine through a Twizzler. Pretty drunk.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
WHY DID YOU NOT OFFER TO LET HIM STAY
Dude, it's like you want him inside me more than i do
You stumbled in the door as high as a kite, & ran into the table. I asked you if you were all right. You replied with "I don't have any soup."
Randomize
