I don't understand why she insists on me walking her to the door. She came over for literally 8 minutes, we had sex, and now I need her to leave. That fake chivalry will change nothing about the situation.
I didn't have a rubber, but my dick had a date with a clorox wipe after we finished. I think I'm in the clear.
It's just like the Real World with babies
If the first sentence isn't something about weed or the nature of choclate I'm skipping class.
You should come over. I am making a celebratory I got laid by a huge penis cake.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Not till Sunday. I'm going to sleep in my car. And I know. This place is insane. Blood on the stAirs 5 dollar slices of pizza. A girl on our floor had a stroke.
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
pooping with feet up on an ottoman about level with the toilet is nice
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
Always a gay best friend, never a bridesmaid
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