And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
you were so high that you made a 14 page PowerPoint on why Santa would beat Peter pan in a fight.
and I must say, you were very persuasive
he turned the pretty ricky playlist on. its about to go down.
drunken yoga. on the beach. senior week. you have been chosen <3
i go for whatevers easier....i'm bisexual strictly due to the convenience factor
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
I just sat there and watched paula deen's face melt for an hour.
She sat on the toilet backwards so that she could hold onto the back part for balance. No she's not ready to go home.
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
Ladies, if you have recieved this text then you are one of the lucky few friends I have decided to make this proposal to. As you all know, my boyfriend's birthday is in two weeks and I have finally decided on the perfect present. Surprise threesome. Now, there can only be one, this isn't an orgy you know, so I will be rating the ideal candidates on bra size and sluttyness. Experiance will count, references if available. Inbox me your credentials so we can come to a...Satisfying agreement.
I am buying anal lube, an enema, and a bag of kit kats. What part of this is compelling the Walgreens woman to tell me to "be well".
I just paid $10 for tinder plus so that I could change my location to Rio and match with Olympic Athletes
Randomize
