I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
the awesomeness of being snowed in wore off after we ran out of beer and we realized we really didnt want to be stuck with everyone.
I honestly didn't see the problem playing beer pong In the car on the road trip home.
New rule : you aren't allowed anything . Ever .
He kept surfacing with a delighted look on his face, guessing different types of food to try to figure out what makes my pussy taste so good.
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
Randomize
