He's been dead since March and more people write on his wall than mine.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
At beerfest, hammered, going to try to not get naked in public but i cant make any promises
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
We haven't even moved into the apartment yet and she has already screwed two of our neighbors. This is going to be the longest 12 month lease of my life.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
Just got your message from Saturday. Shove all the kittens down your pants? Really?
I was emotionally compromised.
I want my birthday to be like the hunger games where all the contenders for my vaj have to fight each other off to win the prize
Can I have the second place winner?
i fell out of the car and didnt spill my drink. come overrrr
truly a win in your book
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Idk how I even got accepted into college because literally the only things my brain ever thinks about are YouTube videos of baby animals and sex.
How do you ask the man who gives you multiple orgasms if he has friends who could do the same for your friend?
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
