I'm sorry for the crack den comment. You have a lovely apartment.
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
this boner is exhausting
trsut me youll find me, im the only kanye west here and every1 is chanting dbag at me
You drunk yet?
Nope. Give me two hours then delete my texts before you read them.
Cant make any promises.
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
It's alarming how good I'm getting at being productive at work on Thursday after Johnny Walker Wednesdays.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
i thought i'd fucked her to death. no lie. she just stopped moving.
Puuuub goooolf. Being trashed at 830 never felt so right
Dude what hole are you on?....and its 9:15
hole5. 2 under par. irish nachos
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Literally just inhaled three cinnamon rolls. Sara is staring. It was inhuman
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Randomize
