he recorded me cumming with the t-pain app on his iphone
there is a school bus full of santas parked in front of the liquor store
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
he kept yelling THIS ISNT AMATEUR HOUR
It's annoying. I only date people who are 6 foot 3, drug dealers, or 2 years older than me.
You kept running up to married couples, taking their pictures and begging for them not to get divorced
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
my god I love twenty year old dicks
I woke up next to a box of cheese bread it was super romantic
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
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