I think dad's getting high again. His last google search was "awesome ping pong shit."
i've never heard her scream louder than when the koreans scored. what am i lacking in bed?
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
Apparently william has a "couch montage"...an album of facebook photos of himself on different couches in various states of happiness and despair. A heartwrenching journey through what was clearly a significant part of his life. I'd mock him more but I think the fact that I looked through it means he's already won
Slept in my car last night. It snowed. I peed on the street. �Hello 29...
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
I DONT UNDERSTAND NIPPLES. THEY JUST POP OUT FOR NO REASON
Well somebody's had a rough day, nipple-wise
i chased my gummy vitamins with cold bacon, never say I don't take care of myself
Like, defending PBR and Bio Dome consumes a lot of my time.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Walking into my bedroom & smelling stale sex & disappointment isn't how I envisioned being 39, in case you were wondering.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
It’s just hard to believe you really care about me when u haven’t touched my dick in 2 months
Yeah. We're taking this fuck buddy relationship to the next level. Sober weekday sex.
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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