We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
I think my fart just growled at me.
I know i'm drunk when the "men" sign on the bathroom sounds chinese
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
All i remember about last night is holding a bottle of bacardi and screaming challenge accepted!
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
I forgot to tell you, wear something you can puke on Saturday. We're christening this marriage with a shot of jager. NOT KIDDING.
He just walked from his house to mine. Walked in and asked for a hug and then left.. And he's sober.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
Edible... I FEEL CLOSER TO THE UNIVERSE AND I DEF TRAVELED IN TIME. I THINK I CAN READ MINDS NOW.
Please stop calling me a pterodactyl during sex. It only happens when you're drunk, but still.
Randomize
