Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
The university put out a message about those missing salt and pepper shakers... You should at least give back 60 of them.
i'm 67% sure he was trying to sing in hawaiian
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
fat chick, vomit on the dog, and three unidentifiable pills in my ear. all in the same ear. what the hell happened after the guests showed up?
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
I was high last night eating a fudge bar and making eggs with toast and corned beef hash for a 2 am snack and my dad asked what I was and the only reply I could think of was "I'm an adult."
He hasn't responded in 6 hours and the last thing he sent me was a picture of 7 grams of coke. I'm getting kinda worried
Fair warning: I will be throwing corn dogs at you every time I see you this week.
I would say that that is the last time I ever drink a bottle of jack in two hours, but really who am I kidding?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
I'm pretty sure I went in the girls bathroom and vomited everywhere then looked for a urinal for like 20 minutes
What happened last night? I just woke up and there's like 15 mcflurry cups on the floor
You don't remember stealing them?
I have to have boobs, you have the charm and wholesomeness that gets boyfriends... And i have boobs
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