i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
My farts woke her up so I pretended to be keep sleeping.
Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I think my plan to not drink this week was just ruined by my mothers discovery of the chat function on facebook
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
I think you're asking the wrong person. You don't understand. Like I would fuck the act of fucking itself if I could.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
Let's just say that watching the sunrise in a space helmet is really the only way to do it.
Text me when you wake up so I know you're ok. It's really worrisome to get home at this hour and find 3 men passed out in my room but no you. Love you, goodnight. :-)
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
I know you just got dumped by your gf but believe there is still good in the world. I just smoked a joint and took a fucking unbelievable poop. Give me a call tomorrow.
Today's psa: there are certain parts of your body you shouldn't scratch while wearing fake nails.
you just tore your cootch a new one, didn't you?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Randomize
