I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Who goes to Church hungover
Those who weren't lucky enough to go still drunk
Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
I don't know how many crown and cokes he went through but I know it was more that I have fingers. We are never leaving Texas.
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
he fucked my hip out of place.
Well the nurse forgot to take all my stitches out, so my surgical tools are peroxide, kitchen scissors, fingernail clippers, a pocket knife, and 11 beers. Let's do this...
walking around pouring bird seed on passed out guys in the quad.
I should not be in class today. For the professors sake.
I took your mattress from your bed. Don't ask questions. Love you. See ya later.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
Costco (TM). Making alcoholism affordable!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
Note to self: dont wear a butt plug for several hours and then go gym and try and do squats
Randomize
