Get your hand out of your ass!
how did you know my hand was in my ass? Guess where my other hand is..?
In your belly button
Party priorities: alcohol > girls > music > cups > decorations
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
i had confetti in my bra
i still find it in random places like a shoe or my car. that week haunts me
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
what do i owe you?
$237.46 to be exact.
if im having that much fun on the weekend i better start remembering it.
Zach is always passed out on the floor somewhere.face down in a puddle of his own absurdity
I was kind of torn between "Wow, this is awkward," and "Wow, my therapist is hung."
I put on slutty clothes under my normal clothes, im like fucking super slutwoman
Best superhero ever to exist
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
I have a video on my phone of someone streaking in my house last night, do you have any idea who it is?
Randomize
