my professor just told me i smelt like a brewery infront of my whole class b4 my final presentation
Dude there are two smokin hot chicks laying outside my apartment...I almost want to tell them theyre laying where I threw up last night
U should. Its a good ice breaker
she needs to learn to take compliments like she takes dicks.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
Her vagina is like Vegas. high traffic and full of glitter.
tried to be sexy and unbutton his shirt with my teeth. ended up slobbering all over it. thank god he was already passed out
So i told him he was the 3rd i have ever slept with and then i found out he had actually slept with 5 other girls besides me. And his reply was well your number one on this hand.
All I remember is running out of the bathroom with one shoe on and the other in my hand. Pretty sure I was yelling as well.
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Ok well I'll be up all night studying if you need a wake up call or a place to put your penis.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
my suitemate came in my room last night and flashed me. and then she just walked away. deff transferred to the right school
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
But he said I was unpatriotic for not having sex with him. What was I suppose to say to that?
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