I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
"auto-tuned camel" is how i'd describe the noises she made
Since when do you wear a bracelet?
Not a bracelet. Half a pair of handcuffs
just customized my debit card w a pic of me ralphing over the toilet. figure it'll give the bar keep a good cut off est and for shits n giggles when buying my handles at the liqour store
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
Good to know: if a hot girls asks to go back to my place, she probably just needs to vomit all over my bathroom
My mom and I are having a "yay I don't have herpes" shopping trip day
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
I didn't budget in chasers this month so were chasing everything with water. Sorry.
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I think my body is a cloud. This mixture of things is heavenly. Dare was wrong, drugs are awesome.
Our relationship needs a sober moment
I'll call you when that happens
I'm pretty sure his cum gave me swimmer's ear.
But like it was sooo bad! At one point he tried to flip me over and he fell off the bed
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