so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
but i got with him after midnight so its technically 2 days
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
Like fighting the continuous urge to sing Neil diamond "coming to America" kinda fucked up right now
BRING ME THE PLAN B. ILL GIVE YOU A FREE WATER BOTTLE AND A BUMPER STICKER AND SOME BACON BITS
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
Pretty sure I just became my mom's wingman
I want to wear Christmas sweaters with you.
My trash can accurately represents my weekend: Bojangles wrappers and magnums.
She's takin more dicks this month than I have in my life by the sounds of it
What is the acceptable way to offer a trade of sex for a few hours of body heat?
what food is Colorado known for?
Pot brownies.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
Randomize
