ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
I don't think I own any pants that haven't seen his bedroom floor anymore...
I hope this doesn't change things. I feel that me being a minor made it more exciting.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I'm not sure that our 12-years-ago-high-school-"relationship," and 179 texts in the last 4 hours is gonna be enough to squeeze a naked smartphone picture of me. I'm gonna need some chicken wings or Makers Mark before that starts happening.
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
Apparently at some point last night someone gave me tequila. There was a few shots left when I woke up so that was breakfast. This is a good birthday
I just wanna get drunk and go sledding in my kayak
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
Why can't he see that I don't want a slow getting to know you period? I just want to bone. NOW.
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