Betty ford says i'm here all night
I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
you left with a lisa lampanelli lookalike... i hope she was atleast funny
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I think I'm going to postpone my photo shoot until my Gpa dies. I don't want to be in lingerie and stripper heels when I finally get the call
Pre-drinking/conditioning my liver for this impending hurricane party associated with cat. 2 hurricane Irene. Be ready to roll in a weather channel minute.
Dude. 21 days till I'm 21. It's the 21 day countdown. The 25 days of Christmas can suck my dick.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
She was screaming and crying about how she couldn't find her middle finger. Then, she threw her body on to the pavement. Thats the last time we buy a freshmen a handle.
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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