His hospital is closing...I consider it "sorry you're losing your job" sex.
You'll be happy to know that I did indeed fracture my rib in a sex related injury
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
I guess wearing a straight up bikini to class is an early indication that Thirsty Thursday has started.
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
I am making dinner in lingerie and heels and there is a 75% chance his roommate is going to walk in on this.
Yup. There he is. This conversation is awkward.
Two big black bouncers picked you up and escorted you to the elevator.
I didn't even do anything wrong. For all they knew I could have been on the US Olympic Gymnastic team. Would they kick Gabby Douglas out of a bar? I don't think so.
Last night you told me you "were too high" and didn't deserve a hashbrown.
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
It's like an adderall Houdini. Right when you think you have a deal he disappears
I swear she is the Mary Poppins of drugs
Everyone should just give me a copy of their keys. I take your dog out and I bring beer.
During my first week as an adjunct prof, I played a fiercely fought game of squash with a law student and we wound up having hot, sweaty, angry sex right on the floor of the court. She is either the best or worst thing to happen to my academic career. Will let you know.
Randomize
