So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
He's so young, I keep getting a mental image of him in footie pajamas. It's cute but it's wrong. Or is it?
Just started taking liver support pills. Welcome to Senior year.
It was disgusting, and I would've rather licked the condensation off the windows instead, but I figured that's wasn't very ladylike
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
I would totally lead with that as a line.'So, I was on Legends of the Hidden temple as a kid.. Your place or mine?'
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
I feel like on the last day of finals we should run around campus dressed like Moses screaming "LET MY PEOPLE GO!!!!"
I'll start the recruiting
Sloppy and selfish. Your 27 and you don't know where my clit is? BYEEE
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
