She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
She was so high she ate a little piece of weed off her pants and thought it was food.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
I just took boredom to a whole new level. I just auto-tuned and remixed today's western civ lecture
Just saw some girl biking on campus with a babyseat on the front. Baby included. Do you know how many points that'd be worth?
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
I can't promise that. They just put an extra shot in my margarita.
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
My fuck buddy just proposed... Correct me if I'm wrong, but doesn't that completely defeat the purpose of FRIENDS with benefits?
Now you can be friends with Insurance Benefits.
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Why is this not the first time I’ve seen the mugshot of someone I’ve slept with
Randomize
